Harford County, Maryland

Maryland is an apartheid state with a crab majority ruled by a human minority. This contradiction produces the Maryland House, which is a rest area that rests (get it? this will not be the only pun) at mile 82 of Interstate 95, easily one of the largest and most picturesque roads in the East, if not the nation. There are mile markers at every tenth of a mile, for instance, keeping a high level of interest and whimsy in driver and passengers alike. The Maryland House serves both northbound and southbound drivers, so there are frequent duels officiated by crabs in which the winner receives, you guessed it, a free slice at Sbarro. Other restaurants include a Burger King and a confectionary known for its crab cream cones.

Unfortunately, as we'll probably see many times this trip, the men's room stalls in the Maryland House are crafted by Puritans of a material intended to discourage messaging, rendering a meager yield of worthy specimens (although this is clearly not the case for the toilets). Hardy travelers are not deterred, though; they use their God-given claws to scratch out cryptic messages, such as:

Who was this "Kevin?" When was he here? More importantly, why? What transcendent muse inspires a man to enter a stall in a public restroom? As he refused to submit to an interview, I guess we'll never know. But nevertheless he obviously felt compelled to leave his mark for future travelers to know the glory that is Kevin. Godspeed.

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This is code which I could not penetrate. Fascinating nonetheless. Did it reach its intended target? You be the judge.

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While it is difficult to make out, having been scratched over by those that did not share the author's bold and timely views, this message reads "Nazis Suck." A poignant statement indeed, and one can only imagine how things may have turned out differently if this artist was transported to the late Weimar Republic to spread his elegant and defiant slogan.

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And, finally, a statement so pure, so direct in its implication and intent, that I shall allow it to speak for itself. I had difficulty capturing its true beauty, but its power is unarguably undiminished. If only I could have met the artist whose imaginative mind created this masterpiece!

Next: I-70!